A: A high-pot-in-use
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
A: To get to the other ... er, um
Q: What is the world's longest song?
A: "Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall."
Theorem: a cat has nine tails. Proof: No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat. Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
'Tis a favourite project of mine,
A new value of pi to assign.
I would fix it at 3,
For it's simpler, you see, Than 3 point 1 4 1 5 9.
Homer at the Bat (8F13, 2/20/92)
Baseball team hypnotist: You will give one hundred and ten percent.
Team [hypnotized, monotone]: That’s impossible. No one can give more than one hundred percent. By definition, that is the most anyone can give.
Bart's Comet (2F11, 2/5/95)
Bart has vandalized the elementary school's weather balloon.
Principal Skinner: Whoever brings down that balloon doesn't have to learn fractions! Children: Yay!
Lemon of Troy (2F22, 5/14/95)
Bart and Milhouse are chatting while Mrs. Krabappel writes Roman numerals on the board.
Mrs. Krabappel: Class, please! If you don’t learn Roman numerals, you’ll never know the years certain motion pictures were copyrighted!
This is pretty cool
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute.
Work this out as you read down the page.
Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
It is nothing profound, but a bit of fun.
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 – We’ll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1762 .. If you haven't, add 1761.
6... Now subtract the four digit year that you were born. You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! TA – DA!
This is the only year this will work with these numbers, so try it on your friends and look awfully clever!
Age By Chocolate Explained
All riddles have a goal. The goal of this riddle is to create a very complicated way of doing a very simple thing. This is a common form of parlor trick, where you do several math steps and then several more that serve only to erase the first steps. The effect is that a complex mathematical calculation seems to magically create the answer, when actually it is a very simple calculation designed to appear complex. A couple of the numbers are color-coded so you can track them through the calculations.
1. For this example, let's use 4 times per week as your preferred chocolate consumption. We'll refer to this as your chocolate number.
2. When you double any number, it automatically makes it even ( 4 x 2 = 8 ).
3. When you add 5 to any even number, it automatically makes it odd ( 8 + 5 = 13 ), so by step three, everyone's number is odd.
4. When you multiply any odd number by 50 the product will always end in 50 and the digit(s) before 50 will always be your chocolate number plus 2 ( 13 x 50 = 650 ). The 6 before the 50 is our chocolate number (which is 4) plus 2.
5. The number 1754 is simply 2004 minus 250. The reason we subtract 250 from the current year is that this will always be the number necessary to erase most of the extra steps we performed in steps #2 through #4. The 2 in the hundreds position of 250 represents the extra 2 (see step #4 above) and the 50 eliminates the extraneous 50 we wound up with from the math in step #4. So far, all this math does is obfuscate the current year (2004), so that the calculation appears magical.
6. You could just as easily have subtracted the 250 from your previous number (650-250 = 400) and added that to 2004 (instead of 1754), but that would have made it more obvious how this problem is related to the current year. Either way, it's the same answer: 550 + 1754 = 2,404 OR 400 + 2004 = 2,404. No matter what number you pick originally, this large number will always be 2004 (the current year) plus a multiple of 100 determined by your chocolate number (3 = 300, 4 = 400, 5 = 500). If your chocolate number is 7, then this number will be 2,704. Got it?
7. When you subtract your year of birth, all you are doing is creating a number that is: Your age + (your chocolate number x 100).
8. The only thing all this math accomplishes is to create an extremely complicated way to multiply your chocolate number by 100 and add it to your age. For instance, if a 40-year old's chocolate number is 5, then 5 x 100 = 500 + 40 = 540. If a 22-year-old's chocolate number is 7, then 7 x 100 = 700 +22 = 722. All the other math is erased in step #5 when you add 1754 instead of 2004. The riddle as originally posed says to pick a number greater than 1, but less than 10. This is unnecessary because numbers of any size will always work, including 1, 10, and 12,983. The riddle also says that 2004 is the only year this will work. That's true, but all you have to do is change the 1754 to 1755 and it works just as well for 2005. For 2006? You guessed it: 1756.
Not magic, but pretty cool all the same.